Unexpected
by Tie-dyed Trickster
Summary: Falling in love with Chichi was an outcome Yamcha had never intended when he began to help the Son family recover from the Cell Games. He hadn't intended to, but he did plan to do something about it. Right up until Goku came back to life...
Yamcha hadn't expected Goku to die fighting Cell. Or that he'd end up falling for Chichi over the next seven years. He- it hadn't started out as a romantic thing. Goku had been dead, Chichi was pregnant, Gohan was in shock, and Yamcha, well… he'd had some money from baseball, and more free time than the rest of the group, and he already knew how to cook and clean and live off the land. It had seemed… obvious. That he should be the one to step in and help out. Goku had been his friend, the reason he'd done and seen so much, that he wasn't just some minor bandit lord in a lonely desert. He'd never been able to repay that, never truly would now, but maybe- maybe this would go some ways to returning what was owed.

And Chichi… she'd needed the help but, more than that, she'd needed the company of another adult, of someone who _understood_. So he'd helped, and he'd listened, and he'd held her when she cried.

And he'd talked with Gohan and listened to him, too, to the things the boy couldn't tell his mother and was ashamed to tell Piccolo – his fear, regret, sorrow, shame, resentment, guilt… Sometimes Yamcha had had advice (he'd tasted all of those things often enough himself to know his way around them by now), but sometimes he simply sat and bore witness to the boy's pain.

Regardless, it was supposed to be a temporary thing, just until the Sons could stand on their own feet again, and Yamcha would get back to sorting out his own life. Except things had kept happening – he'd ended up camping in the yard for the last two months of the pregnancy (the Son house was small and the only spare room had been made over for the baby). He was supposed to leave after the baby came, but then Goten was actually _born_ , and things were so busy that Yamcha had wound up moving onto the sofa instead.

And it kept happening, kept being busy, there was just always so much to _do,_ caring for Goten, the house, the plot of farmland they'd started for food and income, balancing the budget, and by the time Yamcha had looked up he realized he was a permanent occupant on the sofa, and Goten was five and called him 'dad' half the time, and Thursdays he sparred with Gohan (just to help them both stay limber), and all his stuff was scattered and stored in various nooks and crannies around the house, and he and Chichi were cooking meals together and moving around each other like dancers in the kitchen, and- and he was part of the family. As simple as that. And they didn't want him to leave.

More than that, he didn't want to go. He wanted to stay, and watch Gohan graduate high school, and keep helping to train Goten, and to just spend more time with Chichi in general. Because when she wasn't angry, she was actually quite charming – a devoted mother, an excellent cook, a sweet smile, a rather rough sense of humour that spoke of her bandit roots (roots he shared and which they bonded over sometimes), a deadly left hook, and a pragmatic mind. And, unlike Bulma, when Chichi got upset it was generally over something pretty logical and easy to figure out, which was a nice change of pace.

And one day he'd woken up on his sofa with Chichi sleeping on his shoulder (because they'd been watching a movie and dozed off), and he'd realized he wanted to marry her. And, after several days of soul searching and debating with himself, he'd finally decided that he, at least, was okay with this. Goku had died and chosen to remain dead, and only the dead remained frozen in time – the living had to keep going. It hadn't been his intention to fall in love with Chichi, but he had, and he'd never know her opinion on the matter if he didn't ask her. So he'd flown to Diablo Desert to dip into the small stash of treasures he still had from his bandit days, a secret cache reserved for dire emergencies or extremely important things. He'd spent a little time selecting just the right piece, then flown back to Mount Paozu to talk to Chichi-

-and arrived to find Gohan talking about the Budokai. And how his father would be coming back for it, for one last day.

And Yamcha had swallowed and pushed the little velvet box deeper into his pocket, then grinned and said that that was great, it would be good to see the old bedhead again. And he had decided to wait, wait until after the tournament to talk to Chichi about marriage. Because Chichi had never gotten to say good-bye, and she missed Goku so much, and hopefully this would give her some closure. So he'd told her she didn't need to worry how she looked, she was still beautiful, and promised himself that he'd wait until after the tournament to talk to her, and a little longer after that, in case she needed time to finish grieving again. He wouldn't force her to choose between the past and future.

And then Buu had happened. And Goku had come back to life. And- Yamcha had been happy for him, for the Sons, because they _deserved_ this, but- it had felt like something in his heart had fractured when he say Goku standing there on the Lookout without a halo, and suddenly the box he'd been carrying for luck in his pocket for the past couple months had felt like it was made of lead.

He'd stayed for the celebrations as long as he could, then stolen away, gathered his things from the Son house, left a note on the table to let them know he wouldn't get in their way any further, and gone, away, back to Diablo. He'd managed to hold it all in, even, right until he touched down on the sand, stared at the door to Kung Pao Rock, and realized nothing had changed. Not for Kung Pao and not for him, not really. Twenty-four years, and all he really had to show for it were better muscles and some scars.

And he'd snapped. Just a little. Just enough to let everything out.

"WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!" he roared, slamming a fist into the rock, "I've done _everything_! I fought! I trained! I learned! I bettered myself! I fucking _died_! I even accepted that I'll never be the best! So why, _why_? Why can't I have this one thing I _truly_ want? What did I do wrong? Well? TELL ME!" he stared at the sky for a few minutes, panting, but the stars just glittered at him, cold and distant, and he sank to the ground, back against Kung Pao, the fight drained out of him. "What did I do wrong?" he repeated quietly, "I've been working to make myself a family since I was a kid. So how come I'm the one who always winds up alone? What did I do wrong?" he slumped, head resting on his knees, and silence his only answer.

Eventually he got back up and went in; not much he could do the situation. He'd just have to deal and move on with his life. He was pretty good at that – he'd had lots of practice.

For some reason though it never got any easier…

He was sweeping sand out of the door (no matter how tightly Kung Pao was sealed, the sand always got in) when Goku appeared in front of him, lowering his fingers from his forehead. "Hey."

"Hey," Yamcha did his best not to flinch, not meeting his friend's eyes, "Uh, what brings you here?"

"Goten wanted to know where dad was."

Yamcha forced himself to continue sweeping, "Why not stay with him, then?"

" 'cause I'm the one he asked." Goku replied, raising an eyebrow.

Yamcha drooped. "We've explained it to him, okay? But- he was so little at first, and he didn't _understand_ \- look, it was a temporary thing. You weren't here, so I looked after them for you. Now you're back. They don't need me anymore. I left a note."

"Yeah, they saw. They disagree," Goku said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck, "They disagree _really loudly_. And I don't mind you being there and stuff – Gohan's got two dads, so it's only fair that Goten gets to have two, too! Er," he winced, "Don't tell Piccolo I'm onto him, okay, he gets cranky about it for some reason."

Yamcha stilled, his eyes on the sand. It would be so easy, so close to having what he wanted, but- "I can't go back with you.

"Huh? Why not?" Goku sounded confused, "We can make the house bigger so you wouldn't have to sleep on the sofa anymore, and, well… it's been seven years," Goku's tone became regretful, "I- I don't really _know_ them anymore. I don't know Goten at all…" he was quiet for a moment, then, "Do you think it would have been different if I'd waited?"

"For what?" Yamcha asked cautiously.

"For you," Goku said simply, "And Krillin, and Bulma, and Master Roshi, back when I first fought the Red Ribbon Army when I was a kid. If it had been five of us and not just me, do you think Gero would have been less scared and maybe stopped with 17 and 18 instead of making Cell? I've been wondering for awhile now." He moved to lean against a wall, arms folded, "I've missed you all, you know. I was so sure that staying dead would keep everyone safe, though. And it worked for _so long_. But Buu… I didn't cause that, at all. Would it have made any difference if I'd stayed alive instead?"

"I… I don't know," Yamcha admitted, glancing at Goku, "I- sorry, I didn't think you thought about that kind of thing."

Goku laughed, embarrassed, "I don't usually – not much point. But you know how time can be in Otherworld. And even _I_ can't fight _all_ the time and, well, meditation and all." He shot Yamcha a look part hopeful and part pleading, "Please come back with me. I usually rely on Chichi for this sort of thing, but she's the one I need help with. Well, all of them, really. I- I think I hurt them, Yamcha. And I didn't mean to, and I wanna make it right, but I can't fix this by punching it. That's something you're better at."

Yamcha swallowed hard and looked away, hating himself a little. "I can't."

"Why _not_?" Goku asked, annoyed.

" _Because I was going to propose_!" the words burst out of him like an explosion, "Because I fell in love with Chichi somewhere along the line, and after the Budokai I was going to ask her to marry me!"

"But," Goku sounded more confused than upset, " _I'm_ married to Chichi."

" _You were dead_!" Yamcha snarled, spinning to face him, "You were dead and we were alive and I loved her – _I love her_! And I can't- I can't just go back to your house and live under the same roof as her like that, not when she's with you. I can't do it, Goku," he repeated, eyes prickling and burning, "I just… can't. So just- just leave me here, okay? Tell them I'm sorry, but…" he shook his head and turned away. "You don't have to worry about me trying anything, and she doesn't know, I never talked to her about it, so don't be mad at her."

He flinched as he heard Goku walking up behind him but didn't turn. Then he startled, because Goku had put his arms around him in a hug and was resting his head against Yamcha's shoulder.

"I think Chichi loves you, too," he said quietly, "She cried when she saw your note, the real quiet kind. It's worst when she cries like that, 'cause it means she's really upset, not just angry. And she'll stay sad if you stay away."

"But she loves _you_ ," Yamcha whispered, torn.

"So?" Goku sounded genuinely confused now, "Gohan loves me and Piccolo both like a dad, so why can't Chichi love me and you both like a husband?" he paused for a moment, then added, "But if you marry Chichi, you gotta marry me, too – I don't wanna be left out."

"I- _what_?" Yamcha squirmed and turned to face Goku, "But- we're not in love!"

"That's okay – I wasn't in love with Chichi when we got married either, and that worked out!" Goku beamed, then frowned, "Or do you not like guys? Only I heard some guys don't, which is kinda weird because-"

"No! I mean, uh, I- yes, I'm bisexual."

"What?"

"I like men and women."

"Oh. Awesome!" without warning or letting go, Goku raised two fingers to his forehead. There was a blurring sensation, and then they were in the Son living room where Chichi was gaping at them. "Hi, Chichi!" Goku beamed, "I got Yamcha, but we have to marry him if we want to make him stay!"

"…what?" Chichi asked, tone stunned, "Yamcha, what's goin' on?"

"I think I'm being punished for something," Yamcha said glumly, "But I'm not sure what. As far as I can tell, my board's pretty clean at this point." He squirmed. "Goku, let go of me."

"You smell nice."

"GOKU!"

"Okay, okay…" he let go and Yamcha ran his hands through his hair.

"Look, I appreciate this, but- you can't just _decide_ these things for people. I haven't even asked her!"

"Ask her, then."

"Ask me what?" Chichi interrupted with trepidation.

Yamcha swallowed, then straightened his shoulders and walked over to her chair, reaching into his pocket as he did so for the small box that had been sitting there for months. "I- when I came hom- here the day we found out about the Budokai, I had something I had something I was going to ask you. Then I heard about Goku coming back and I decided to wait. And then things happened like they did and, well…" he set the slightly worn velvet box on the coffee table in front of her. "I didn't mean to, but somewhere over the years I fell for you hard, Chichi. I want to be your husband."

It was Chichi's turn to swallow, blinking rapidly as her lips tightened. "Yamcha… I'm married. To Goku. I love him, and I've missed him so much, and- I can't just-"

"Aw, Chi," Goku walked to her chair and leaned over the back to hug her, "You're both making this so complicated! We all wanna be together, right? So let's just _be_ together. And," he bit his lip, then plowed on, "And it's my fault. I messed up big. I- what do you guys want? What do _you_ want, Chichi?"

Chichi closed her eyes, a bead of water trickling down, "But- what yer sayin'… It'd be- it'd be so _greedy_ t' ask you-"

"Not if we're all okay with it," Yamcha crouched down at her feet and took one of her hands in his own, "I- I'll admit, it's not what I imagined, but… I think I could be okay with it. Being with you… _and_ him."

"Me too," Goku agreed, nuzzling her hair, "You still smell good, too, Chi. So what _do_ you want?"

Chichi took a shuddering breath, "Dende help me, I want y' both." And she tugged on Yamcha's hand, pulling him up into a kiss as slow and lingering as it had been in coming, and they smiled at each other when they broke apart, shy and more than a little uncertain, but relieved to be moving forward.

Goku had no such qualms. "My turn!" he chirped, leaning over Chichi's shoulder to give Yamcha a smooch on the lips. He grinned at Yamcha's expression when he moved away again. "Heh, that probably wasn't very good – I'm out of practice."

"It's okay," Yamcha mumbled weakly as Goku gave his- gave _their_ wife a kiss as well, then, "So… _is_ it legal for all three of us to get married?"

"Yes."

Yamcha nearly jumped out of his skin at the voice from the doorway and turned to see Gohan standing there with Goten on his shoulders. The teenager quirked a smile at him. "It didn't used to be, but some laws got changed a few years ago. According to Erasa it's even a bit trendy at the moment."

"How long have you been standing there?!"

"Long enough," Gohan smiled, "And if you're worried we're going to be upset, don't be. Personally I'm just glad my family's all alive and in one place."

"Yeah!" Goten agreed vehemently, "And no more running off – it's not okay!"

"I dunno," Chichi gave a slightly damp grin, "Both of these two have done it now, seems only fair I should have a turn."

"No way," Goku scooped her up in his arms, "I'm tired of missing you!"

"And we just got together, I'm not letting you go just yet," Yamcha agreed, standing and joining the hug, "So you're stuck with us!"

Chichi blushed and laughed as they both moved to kiss her on the cheek, then Goten hopped off his brother's shoulders to squirm into the center of the hug with his mother, and by the time Gohan joined in they were all laughing.

Yamcha did end up going back to Diablo – it wasn't really an option not to, Goku hadn't given him a chance to grab his stuff before they left. And Goten went with him, because he wanted to see the place where one of his dads had used to live and that he'd heard stories about, and everyone was waiting for them when they got back.

And, that night, for the first time, Yamcha didn't sleep on the sofa – he joined Chichi and Goku in the bedroom. It was more than a little awkward, none of them were used to sharing a bed anymore, and it was firmly agreed that a bigger bed would have to be acquired in the very near future if they wanted to keep this up. But they'd also agreed that they _did_ want to keep this up. They'd adapted to living as couples before; now they just needed to adapt as a trio. And, after all – third time was the charm.

OoOoOoOoO

 _The ring Yamcha selected for Chichi is a dark blue star sapphire in a simple gold setting. Also, this was supposed to be sex, but then it turned into feels instead. Go figure. (shrugs)_


End file.
